She Took My Arm As If She Loved Me by Herbert Gold

Author:Herbert Gold
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781466883307
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

Chapter 14

For Priscilla, Xavier was a change, something old and yet something new. And now it was time for “Dan and Xavier Enjoy a Rational Grown-up Discussion.”

Xavier’s boyish good looks could appeal to anyone, male or female, but in this case they appealed to Priscilla and not to Dan. However, this tennis entity of tangled, healthy, maturely white hair, generous smile with shining teeth, darting boyish shy unease, long legs—the whole Town and Country Academy Alumni Association gathered into one good sport—had planned ahead and was ready to make his case to Kasdan. He asked Kasdan’s okay. He intended to play square. All he wanted was to be an honest person.

I wasn’t ready to offer a blessing to the man who wanted my wife, even if he looked me forthrightly in the eyes and said he really cared, needed, hoped; even if he confessed that this conversation made him nervous; even if he cast down his long lashes, blushed and moved his footwear uneasily. Xavier was giving it a best effort. Like many a handsome lad before him, he felt sure his personal appeal could win the day. How could I fail to be convinced? He was so vulnerable.

“This is really embarrassing,” said Xavier.

“We can agree on that.”

“Um.”

“We can agree on that, too.”

With a warm grin, a toss of healthy mop, a winsome gleam in the eye, Xavier said, “You and I were sort of friends, sort of knew each other, so you could sort of think of this in terms of betrayal, or not betrayal, or maybe—”

Betrayal. Sort of. Yes. A piercing minty odor, alcohol and oil and tart, came off Xavier as his metabolism labored away, his sportsman’s cologne excited by the heat of conflict, shedding itself with green and yellow implications into the air. Probably he wasn’t really drenched in perfume. I was just oversensitive to my wife’s lover’s manly aroma.

Since I seemed unwilling to speak, cat got my tongue, Xavier had to do all the work around here, put the ball in play. “So I thought I should explain. It’s not like you think. I didn’t want to cause you difficulties. It’s hard for me, too, Dan. I mean, it’s not as if I had a choice about, about, about…” His voice deepened. “About Priscilla.”

Politeness at least obliged me to say something, and so I strangled out a few echoes: “About Priscilla you didn’t have a choice.”

A shower of smiles tumbled off Xavier in my direction; a vinaigrette wafting in the stirred-up, riled-up air. It was a multimedia avalanche of gratitude and anxiety. He was so appreciative because I favored him with a comment. “Since you and I were friends,” he said, prompting me to go on.

I was unwilling to grant him that. With the aid of all the therapy he had enjoyed, Xavier understood my wince and frown at the word “friends.” He had insight, he paid attention, he practiced the art and craft of sharing. Therefore, he amended the word “friends.” “Buddies,” he said, “acquaintances for a long time,” and peered hopefully up into my face.

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